Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
