ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
