Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
50% drunk capacity currently
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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