why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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