the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Your penis caused this!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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