You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
