btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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