Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
