honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
