My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
