How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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