So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Then you guys just all showered together...?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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