I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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