I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
