did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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