Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize