its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I am one with the molecules
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
