Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
