all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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