he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
