i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
