so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
