Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
