I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
