I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
