You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
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