I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
