She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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