she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
