So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
