I must be too annoying 4 u.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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