I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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