so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Randomize