If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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