I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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