I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
