My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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