Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
