A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
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