At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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