I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
