I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Too much gin, very little bucket
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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