I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
