I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
someone threw a dead crab at me
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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