We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
How does one acquire holy water?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
