Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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