so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
