i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
