we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
