i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
