I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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