What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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