I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
