you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
