Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Randomize
