I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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