I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
