I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
